Recipe for a Snuffaluffagus

by Kathleen Daelemans & Rita Daelemans

My Mom and I were sitting outside on her deck yesterday talking about Dorie Greenspan's Blog (it’s our favorite topic right now because we’re all about Dorie this week. And we’re longtime fans.) Plus, I’m testing recipes for the Today show, which means we’re baking, so naturally we’re using one of Dorie’s books for reference.

 My Mom first got hooked on the blog because Dorie had a really great recipe for cabbage when it was, eat the cabbage or throw the cabbage out, day. I like the blog because Dorie’s life sounds so much better than mine.

"I do too, Kathleen. Write that down. And tell everyone her blog is pretty.” my Mom said, stretched out on her favorite lounge chair gazing up into the sky like a little kid. “Part of me thinks I might be able to have some part of a life like Dorie's.”

Me too. But I'll probably always have to live with the lawnmower guys in the background. I doubt Dorie has to listen to the lawn mower guys when she's putting the finishing touches on her Chocolate Filled Madeleines. But I could improve my life a little bit. I can bake "nearly every day".

Dorie bakes at home "nearly every day" and she's an absolute stick. She lives in New York, Connecticut and Paris. What a lovely way to live. Dorie, if you are reading this, and you ever find yourself in need of a porter slash recipe tester slash kitchen sweep, I work for cake scraps. I forwarded my mom the link to Dorie’s blog and made a promise to myself that things were going to change in my life from that moment on.

Apparently Dorie is the kind of woman that inspires immediate action from her readers because my mother A) ordered her newest book Baking, From My Home to Yours and B) pledged to bake nearly every day. The next morning in the shower, my Mother began to wonder what Dorie did with all those baked goods because when she got out, she called me and asked me if I knew.

Hello Mom, Is That You?

“Kathleen. This is your mother. Do you know what Dorie Greenspan does with all those leftover desserts? She says on her blog that she bakes nearly every day. Do you think she has a large family? She can’t possibly eat all the leftovers herself. She’s very slim. If I’m going to start living like Dorie, I can’t imagine what I’m going to do with all the leftovers. I can’t keep your father out of the refrigerator as it is. Call me back.”

I wonder if my mother will ever leave a message where she doesn’t identify herself. I wonder if she’s waiting until I reach a certain age. Like maybe when I’m 75 she’ll stop saying, “this is your mother”. I wonder what age she felt the need to start telling me she was my mother.

Does she feel that I stopped recognizing her one day? Did I walk right past her into the kitchen one morning, open the fridge door, drink milk from the carton, feel her burning eyes, turn just in time for the lecture, interrupt her opening number with a “Who are you?” blank stare? Did I do that? Has she never recovered?

I don't know Dorie from Maury so I haven’t the faintest idea what Dorie does with her leftovers. The fact that I didn’t have a chance to call my Mom back within 120 minutes of her call (I was in the shower) didn't stop her from getting started.

Without a clear answer as to what she'd do with all the baked goods that would amass in her home, she gathered all the ingredients for a new recipe she'd clipped out of the morning paper, Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies, and started to bake. She was on a roll.

“The only problem is, it's 2:30 in the afternoon and I have a stomachache from tasting too many cookies. I have no interest in fixing dinner and I can't imagine this is how Dorie Greenspan does it. At this rate, I'll look like a Sumo wrestler by the end of the month. I think I'll have to rethink the whole thing.” "Maybe Dorie meant, she cooks nearly every day," I offered.

Or maybe she cooks for a soup kitchen. Maybe she has a bakery in Paris. Or maybe she is the secret owner operator of the world's first all butter, all fat, all bakery, outlet mall. What does she do with all those baked goods? If she makes one recipe for four people seven days a week, that's 28 servings of pastries per week. If they were let's say, spa desserts, they would have a mere 400 calories each. That's 11,200 dessert calories for Dorie.

I’ll be a Snuffaluffagus by Halloween

If my Mother decides to bake nearly every day then I will have to follow suit. Because I will not want to hear about all of the wonderful things she is baking at her house that I can’t eat because I live too far away. Seven miles is not too far away but A) gas is expensive and B) I’m too busy and lazy to walk or ride a bike or drive.

Most dessert recipes yield 8 to 12 and up to 24 and even 48 servings when you're talking about cakes and pies, cookies and bars. So if I really do start baking nearly every day, then I'd end up with an extra 117,200 calories a week to choose from. I’m not saying I would actually eat everything I cooked but baked goods are a lot more appealing than vegetables. For the most part. I’m just saying.

I could donate what I make to soup kitchens. Or Paris bakeries. Or outlet malls low on baked goods. Or I can read Dorie's books and her blogs. And live vicariously through her. Which seems kind of stalkish. And freakish. But it’s all I’ve got right now. Until well, until it’s my turn to travel and write about it.

For now, I’m just thankful she’s sharing her journey’s and recipes. It’s like a vacation without the bills. It’s like eating at the best restaurants without having to leave a tip. Okay, so I have to do all the cooking and clean up. But at least I get to keep all the recipes and they all work. We heart you, Dorie!

Comments

[Lori4squaremom]

Oh Kathleen, you made me laugh!!!! I LOVE your writing style! And the relationship between you and your mom is awesome!

I bake nearly every day, and even though I DO have a large family, I still give away bunches and bunches of stuff, AND I sell my baked goods to family and friends and through my CSA as well.

I love it! :)

[Dorie]

Kathleen, I'm going to have a hard time writing because I'm laughing so hard.
So, here's what I do with all the stuff I bake: I give it away. It's my bake-and-release program. I bake, taste then give it away. In New York, the elevator men in our apartment get the goodies; in Connecticut, the sweets go to our neighbors (some of whom, by the way, make a ton of noise with their lawn mowers); and in Paris, I make little packages for my friends and always drop something off for the guys in the wine shop down the street. But I'm liking the idea of an all-butter, all-fat, all-bakery outlet mall ...

[Melstruck]

My mom, too! Every time, "Hi, It's your mom" As if it would be someone else's mom calling me and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between her and that other person's mom.

[Sheri]

Mine does too. Used to be "This is your mother speaking." and now it's a less formal "It's Mom." Does this mean our relationship has progressed? ;)

[Catherine]

Hahah! My mom does the "id" thing too. Yes, mom I do recognise your voice.