Lemon, Chicken & Orzo Soup, 2 Firemen, a Chat & a Checkup

By Kathleen Daelemans

I wish I could be one of those bloggers who pens brilliant, timely, comedic posts twice daily. I'm not. I'm lucky if I can eek out a post once a week.

Too bad it doesn't count that I compose hysterically funny blogs every single waking moment of my life. I even dream them and wake myself up to write down Nora-Ephron-hilarious (just ask me) ramblings on sticky notes. Most of them end up under my bed tangled in lemon size fur balls (my cat spins daily).


What's a Busy Girl-y Girl Like Me To Do in Such a Filthy Dirty House?

I have 96-year-old housekeepers that come in twice a month. They don't clean. They just come by for coffee. A chat. And a check. I clean like someone who can’t afford real housekeepers before they ever arrive.

With the speed of a Grand Prize Winner who has 60 seconds to clear the shelves in an Electronic Emporium, I wash the linens, clean the windows inside and out, do every last load of laundry, vacuum all the rugs, clean the appliances, scrub the basement floors, and remove every single item from every flat surface in the house (girls, you know what I’m talking about). And then poof! My scrumptious little Babushkas arrive.

Blondes are as Blondes do

The only way one can compose funny blogs consistently, is if one is, well, how shall I say this in a nice way without hurting my feelings? I'm very sensitive you know (and have been known to walk around with self imposed and "gifted" labels for years.

In the interest of time (you have my fabulous Greek Lemon Chicken and Orzo Soup to make) I'll just come right out and say it, the only way to compose really funny blogs (that aren't forced, copied or created) is to be well, part, mostly or totally dumb (or special or a row short of a box Oreas), whatever you want to call it in some delicate, or not so delicate way.

This isn't news to me. My “delicate way”. I've come to accept it. Embrace it. Adore it. One can't be a Culinary Fashionista, a Diet Queen of Denial and up on the latest Carbon Monoxide News. How was I to know that if one goes to light ones gas fireplace for the first time ever in five years, and one goes to pull the vent-thingy open, that when given a choice between “O” or “C”, one should choose “O”?

This is not taught in school. One does not overhear anything having to do with messy fireplaces, shoot-hanging-down things, at nail salons. I chose “C” because “C” was closer. I lit the fire because it was a sunny, freezing cold Sunday and my friend Alice was coming over. We had plans to share a glass of wine and while away the afternoon flipping through all the new magazines.

Work till Three, Wine Club at Four, Make an Early Plane

What girl doesn’t love to pay above subscription rates (like 4 times the price) for the glitzy magazines and covet them until she gets a quiet moment to pour over them with her best friend? We pick out the hot new wardrobes we’ll never own and all the accessories. We choose an outfit for every imaginable occasion. Every.

And then we accessorize; from the main purse, to the weekend bag, the evening jewelry, to the office appropriate shoe. We obsess over every bauble, bracelet and bead. When we’re positively spent from our mad shopping spree, we read Dr. Phil’s advice out loud and try to reverse look up Carson Kressley’s phone number for Suzy Orman. It’s like this, "911, Carson can you help a sister out?"
She will survive this slight embarassment. And she will thank us one day.

Tropical Island Getaway for the Price of a Trip to the Emergency Room

I lit my fireplace, sat down at my dining room table and got to work. Before long, my living room became a tropical paradise. The humidity must have been 100%. My hair got that just-up-from-the-beach look. It was slightly curly in all the right places. The dew on my skin was scrumptious. I felt 10 years younger. I planned Mango smoothies for lunch and Mahi-Mahi with pineapple salsa for dinner and typed on.

An hour later, despite the 15-degree temperatures outside, I was drenched. I decided to put on something lighter than the three layers of clothing I had on. Summer was in the air.

Comfy in a fabulous, floral-print-on-fuchsia-background, long sleeve, terry cloth, beach cover up and flip flops, I was back in my chair faster than you can say Put-the-lime-in-the-coconut.

Twenty minutes later, I was light headed. Somehow, I’d forgotten to eat breakfast (I’d been feeling a bit nauseous all morning). An English muffin, a glass of juice and it was back to the keyboard.

Everything was going well until the lights went out. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was the touch pad of my computer and the back of my room, upside down. This is not a good perspective. It’s caused by a keyboard face-plant. I’m pretty sure I woke up the instant I landed.

And Make it a Kona Coffee Please

Must make a pot of coffee”, I mumbled on the way to the kitchen, “So late in the day?” I asked myself, “Whatever it takes”, I answered.
Never having fallen asleep on my keyboard before, I decided to pay attention to my skittish indoor cat who developed a sudden desire to be let outside. He’d been racing between the front and back doors for two hours straight.

I opened the front door. Before I could scoop down to pick up my cat and explain the playground rules, he was out the door and under a bush.

I must admit, the air came rushing into the house with tornado force. Or so it seemed. I stood in the doorway and basked in the fresh air like a haole1 with island fever. In fact, I took giant gulps of air. When the coffee pot sounded its alarm, I called in the cat. He was still under the bush. He refused to come.

I wasn’t in the mood to step out into the snow in my sparkly  Hibiscus hoodie and turquoise flip flops. But he flat out refused to come. Even when I resorted to my co-dependent Mom tactic, “Here’s an extra can of food today, pumpkin baby boo”. I couldn’t lure that cat into the house with the promise of a years’ worth of free Kitty Caviar.

It was then that I realized (subconsciously) that something might be amiss. I fired off an email to a fireman friend of mine:

To: DC
From: Kd
Subject: Poisoning my Cat

DC,

I started my gas fireplace for the first time this year. My indoor cat is acting strange. He ran between doors “asking to go out” all day and now he won’t come in. Do you think the residual gas could be making him sick?

Kathleen

Dan never did answer my email. Until the next day.

In the meantime. I drank the pot of coffee and got that sea-sick feeling. I became more and more light headed. The English muffin didn’t do it for me. But I assumed drinking a pot of coffee would make anyone light headed and nauseous.

I laid down on my living room floor intending to stay just “until the feeling passed”. It never passed. The cat never came back in. I had no energy to find him. By the time, my girlfriend came over, I felt like we’d already drank every bottle of wine I’d ever purchased and every bottle of wine that was ever given to me throughout my entire life.

I told her I had a terrible case of the flu and was calling the whole party off. She told me my house smelled like a gas explosion had gone off and that it needed some air. She immediately began opening doors and windows. She told me “something was wrong” and that I needed to get out of the house.

She made me get up and get out. I walked out side and grabbed my stubborn cat. Alice gave me a coat. We went to my neighbor’s house. Her husband is a big strong fireman. He knew immediately that I’d been inhaling carbon monoxide fumes for five hours. He knew that when I pulled “C” for Closed I should have pulled “O” for Open. He sent over a truck. I was given a crash course in, The Warning Signs of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning in the Home From Common Sources.

You wouldn’t believe the common everyday things that can make you sick; your gas fireplace all closed up and aimed at you for instance. Or your furnace and hot water heaters if they’re not running properly – something you can’t see with the naked eye. These appliances need to be scheduled for yearly check ups the same as any fire and carbon monoxide alarm. A better way to think of it, is to schedule the furnace’s annual physical for the same time you schedule yours. 

The fireman opened all my doors and windows and stayed until the readings in my house were zero. They insisted I go over to the hospital to get checked out. The treatment for mild carbon monoxide poisoning is to take a blood test to measure your levels and to breathe pure oxygen. I was very lucky. If Alice wasn’t on her way over, I was calling it a day. Who knows if I would have made my plane.

The fireman also made me sign a piece of paper stating I’d go out and get two new digital read Carbon Monoxide alarms for the house within the week. I kept my promise. Okay, now if I can just make them work. 

To find out more about carbon monoxide poisoning, prevention, safety and what kind of an alarm is best for you, click on:  Enviornmental Protection Agency's Safety Page.   

To make my totally scrumptious soup:

Lemon Chicken Soup with Orzo & Egg

Skill level: one star

Prep Time: 15 minutes. All you gotta do is shred chicken and squeeze and zest a lemon.

Cook Time: 15 minutes
Ingredients

8 cups homemade or low sodium chicken broth

8 oz. boneless skinless chicken breast

coarse salt and cracked black pepper to taste

1/2 cup orzo

2 eggs lightly beaten

juice of two large lemons and their zest

1/2 pound baby spinach, washed and dried and cut into chiffonade

     Place chicken broth in a large stockpot and bring to a boil, add chicken and reduce to a steady simmer.

Poach until chicken breast is just done, about 6-8 minutes. Remove chicken breast to a plate to cool.

Add a cup or two of water if the chicken broth has reduced down too much (could happen if you’re multi-tasking like crazy).

     Bring the liquid back up to a boil, add the orzo. Reduce heat to a strong steady simmer and let orzo cook until al dente, about 7-8 minutes.

     When orzo, is firm to the tooth, add the eggs in a skinny steady stream, while whisking vigorously.

     Add the lemon juice and zest. Turn off the heat. Add the spinach. Taste and adjust the seasonings. Serve immediately.

________________________

1. Haole. The Hawaiian term for Foreigner. When you're in Hawaii, the locals often refer to visitors from the mainland as Haoles. Eh Haole, you forget your sun tan lotion or what? You look like someone spray painted you red.









   

 

Comments

YIKES, KD!!!!! I'm glad you're okay too! I'm gonna have to try that soup, it sounds perfect for this crazy, cold weather that won't go away.

[MaryJo]

Oh my goodness!! I am so glad you are ok!! Your guardian angel must be exhausted!!!

[Jen]

Oh no, Kathleen. I haven't been reading your blog lately and I come back to this one.

Gotta say, the blog looks fabulous. Nice makeover. Glad your kitty and your friend conspired to save you from an early demise. The soup looks good -- I love egg drop soup and Greek chicken lemon soup... this is a little of both.

I'm training again, for a mini-tri. Unfortunately I have a few extra pounds to contend with again...hoping to work those off.

[Jill]

KD-Soooo glad you are ok!! My dd got a major migraine on Monday night and even though there are carbon monoxide detectors all over my house all I could think was "carbon monoxide poisoning!!" After 4 hours in an ER waiting room my dd decided she was hungry and her migraine had eleviated after the Execdrin Migraine kicked in!! Glad you are ok, and can't wait to try that soup!!
Jill

[Denise]

O.M.G.!!!

So glad you are ok!!!!

And the soup looks yummy... will have to try!

[Catherine]

Good grief, KD! Yes, there was a reason they carried canaries into the mines in the 'good old days'. I'm glad you are ok.

And for those of you with wood fireplaces, get the chimney swept, once a year if you have a fire often. And don't close the damper until the ashes are dead, dead, deader than dead. That carbon monoxide alarm can wake the almost dead!