I woke up like I always do, leaping to my feat in pain because my obese cat, Fujin* can’t sleep unless he’s sprawled across both of my legs, just below the knee, in a way that cuts off my circulation. Something about temperature control. He doesn’t like me warm and alive. Normally when I’m writhing around in pain at 4:00 a.m., I like to watch tabloid T.V.
Access Hollywood is doing a month long series on Body Image.** Marlee Matlin is the first celebrity in the series and she wants to lose weight.
The Tiniest Loser
Marlee wants to feel less insecure and happier about her body. All women want to feel beautiful. Just before she announced that it was time for Marlee's "before" weigh-in, the host gave Marlee one of those cliche Hollywood shame-on-you looks.
Marlee shriveled deeper into herself. If you were using crayons to color the scene, you would have had to draw a black cloud over a patch of yellow daisies. The sun's sparkling light went out of Marlee's eyes when it was time for her to weigh in.
Height: 5’3”
Weight: 129
Waist: 28 1/2
Hips: 38
Thighs 23 1/2
Marlee didn't look happy about her numbers. If I weighed 129 pounds and had a 28 inch waist, I’d wallpaper the outside of my house with my numbers, take pictures of myself all day long and have hourly slide shows of me and all my friends in our favorite cute outfits.
It’s no wonder Marlee is confused and insecure about her body. She lives in Hollywood. According to last night's story on Access Hollywood, A 19 year old, 99 pound Matlin was told to lay off the snacks while shooting a film or they’d have to stop production. In another role, What the Blink Do We Know? Marlee’s character examined negative thoughts about her body. Of course she wants to lose weight, by Hollywood’s standards, she’s in dangerous territory. She’s had four children and she’s forty two years old.
Have a Donut and Some Hot Cider and Call Me in the Morning
If you want my advice Marlee, and I know you do (insert smiley face here) go home. Spend a couple of weeks out here in the cozy Midwest where there are no Extreme Makeover hotels***, no “beautiful people” and no pressure to live up to unrealistic, unhealthy body “ideals”.
The baristas at our coffee shops aren’t thinner than the coffee stirrers, the saleswomen in our department stores look you in the eye (as opposed to other body parts) and greet you with genuine kindness. Bring your daughters. Rent a house on a lake somewhere. Leave your cell phones and blackberries and laptops back in Hollywood.
Fall in love
caring for your soul
through joyful acts. Teach your girls how to cook from scratch with ingredients you pick up at local markets. Bring your favorite cookbooks and go play in the kitchen. One of the greatest gifts you have to offer your children is to show them how to care for and nurture themselves through the food choices they make before they leave home for good.
Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Take long walks along the lake shores. Find secret paths in the woods and crunch through fresh fallen leaves. Rent a canoe and paddle down a river without talking. Go to a cider mill. Spend an afternoon in an apple orchard. Breathe the fresh Mid-western air. Roast marshmallows at night and make real smores. Watch the stars. You can see all of them from here.
Laugh like a fool every day …
You won't find rest, relaxation or self esteem in your sock drawer. Take the week off! Or a weekend, or leave an hour early every day this week. If you can't take the week off work, take the week off worrying. No more worrying about anything. No more, I'm fat, I'm broke,I'm worried, my butt is huge, if only, if only, if only...
Channel that negative energy into positive, affirmative action. Take notes. Right down your hopes and dreams and goals. Review them when you hear the negative voices starting up again.
When you've had a chance to rest and re-route your energy, Marlee and Company, take a shower and put on your most luxurious robe. Before you leave the bathroom, stand in front the biggest mirror there is and gaze lovingly into your eyes. Even if the two year old is clinging to your ankle(you'll both live).
I trust that you'll see and get reacquainted with the beautiful
miracle that is your healthy, functioning body, the one that houses your
soul. I hope you can’t help but smile, and that your girls are near you
then, and your collective smiles turn to laughter and tears of joy and hope.
I’ll bet, Marlee Matlin, (OR insert your name here) that with a little practice and an open heart you’ll find your way back to that unconditional love and appreciation you had for your body when you were a little girl and you looked in the mirror and twirled round and round in your beautiful dresses.
And you’ll do it without exercising in an un-fun way and you'll do it without eating kelp. And you'll do it without feeling "less than" or "inferior" or insecure. You'll achieve the body you want and the health you deserve through laughter and play because you're setting an example for your children and plain and simple, it's a whole lot more fun!
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*I inherited Fujin from his Japanese Mom, Chef Miho Mizuno. She named Fujin after the Japanese God of Wind the day her best friend Hana brought the kitten home for her. Miho knew she was dying. “When I die, I will become wind so I can be with him always”. I’m not sure hanging out with a cat who likes to roll around in the dirt and chase squirrels would be my first choice as an afterlife companion.
**Body Image Month? How about Warped body image month? The stylists for the Desperate Housewives are either making the clothes for those women or they’re using wrapping paper to cover them up. There’s something wrong when you can see pelvic bones through denim.
***Extreme Makeover Hotels - hotels situated near or connected to a plastic surgery center or hospital that specializes in plastic surgery for the rich and famous. Guests are all similarly dressed in luxury spa robes and post-op bandages and are usually accompanied by personal nurses.
Your best yet Kathleen!! Ditto to all you said and frankly, I am making my reservations to go out to the mid west! Somehow, now in my 40's all that is really important and worth stressing over has become crystal clear! And for the record....I have never seen my pelvic bones! mj
Posted by: MaryJo | 12 November 2007 at 06:29